By Emily Hespeler
At 23 years old, I wrote a story around a couple months after Christmas. I reflected on the meals I shared with my family during the holidays. I talked about how eating with them, made me smile, simply because I wasn’t in the hospital anymore. I had a new perspective on life, that I had never experienced before my accident. It was an outlook that brought me realizations like, “oh remember how only a month ago you couldn’t even get out of bed” or “remember when you couldn’t go outside?” These memories, allowed me to stay positive as I faced a new beginning of a life as a burn survivor.
Now, I’m 27 years old and I’ll be spending another Christmas dinner with my family at the same table I ate around those 4 years ago. My stepdad asked me a few days ago, “are you excited for Christmas?” I responded, “eh, not really.”
Not really? What was I thinking? Again, this year I’m with my family, I have food, I can move my body even better than I could 4 years ago and all I can say is “eh, not really.”
What changed?
I got back to life. I started working, dating, running, going back to school and connecting with other burn survivors. I loved my friends and family more than ever. I drifted from the pain I experienced in the hospital and used it to push me to live intentionally.
Now, I could have been caught in a sore moment thinking about the capitalism and yadyadaya involved in the holiday when my stepdad asked me the question. Sure, and also I need to remember how I felt those 4 years ago. Christmas time is a day to be alive with the people who’ve held me from the moment I was born. With the people who valued me, for just being.
This Christmas I want to hold them up and love them, just because. It may seem like just another year, but it is not. I know that the love we have is precious. I know that disaster can change things and that I need to honor the moments we have with one another.
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